A taste of life.

Hey everyone! I want to keep you up to date on what my life is like over here. So I’ll share a few choice events that have taken place over the last couple weeks:

1. A retreat with Avatar.

The church I have been attending is called Avatar (not referring to the James Cameron movie, but a Hindi word referring to a person who has been resurrected from the dead). I was able to go with them on their church retreat to a beautiful place on the coast outside my city. It was so wonderful to be surrounded by nature and quiet. It was even more wonderful to make new friends— it makes it feel a little more like home.

2. A trip to the Doctor’s office.

A fever and stomach issues sent me on the adventure of experiencing a new health care system. The doctor didn’t waste any time with pleasantries (I might not either with a waiting room full of people to see me and only one doctor on staff). I only spent 5 minutes actually in the room with the doctor, but I suppose no more time was necessary, because the meds were effective and I was back on my feet again soon! The entire trip, including transportation there and back, a consult with the doctor, and three different prescription medicines cost a grand total of $6.50.

3. Rickshaws.

If you don’t know what an auto rickshaw is, stop reading right now and go google a picture. Got that picture in your mind? Now imagine that you’re in a real-life game of Mario Kart (credit for this excellent analogy goes to my roommate), racing along a bumpy road, dodging pedestrians and bicycles and potholes. Now add the sound of horns of all different kinds, honking and beeping in some sort of eclectic symphony. And now mix in the smell of sweat and garbage and exhaust. Finally, turn up the temperature to about 85 degrees, and you’ve got my morning commute! It is probably one of the most unique day-to-day experiences I will ever have. But I like it. It’s exciting, and its fun to watch my confidence grow with getting around the city, practicing the few words of Hindi I’ve learned.

4. Trains

“There’s only two rules: hold on to your stuff, and get on the train. You’re going to have to push,” said my roommate, as we were about to board the train for the first time. “Ok,” I replied, not thinking too much of it. “No, really,” she said, “You’re going to need to push people to make sure you get on. You just have to go for it.” “Ok, I got it,” I said more emphatically, remembering my recent experience on a crowded metro in the States. But I didn’t get it. t crowded metro is nothing compared to a crowded train in this city. Fortunately, my roommate anticipated my overconfidence, and helped push me through the women stampeding to get on board. “Oh,” I thought as I my heart rate began to return to normal, “You meant ACTUALLY push." But if I ever had anything against the trains (which I didn’t), all was forgiven the day I was able to get a spot by the door and feel the wind in my hair as I leaned out and watched the country speed by.

I’ve been learning a lot here as well. I wanted to share a couple of these thoughts with you as well.

1. It’s not about me.

I’ve been thinking so much about what I’ll be doing, how I’m moving to a different country, how I’ll need to adjust, and the work that I’ll be doing, that I forgot that this isn’t about me at all. All we do, even the good things we do, even the justice we try to bring, doesn’t matter in is own right. It’s all about Jesus. Everything is. So I want to apologize for the times that I’ve forgotten that and been prideful, and made this adventure about me, and not about Jesus. Because everything we're doing is for him, and he’s the one who allows us to join is his work.

2. I am so filthy rich.

I understood the concept that I was rich compared to the majority of the world, but it never truly began to settle into my soul until I’ve seen what poverty looks like. And I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with that knowledge. How do I live honorably as a person of riches in a world that is so desperately poor? I’m sure I’ll be wrestling with this one for the duration of my trip and beyond. I’d love to hear any of your thoughts!

3. Jesus loves me.

One of the many delightful treats of the city, natural
coconut water! For more of my favorite snacks,
google search "gulab jamun" and "jalebi"!

Seems pretty basic, right? But I guess I had forgotten, because I find myself learning it all over again. Jesus just wants to talk to me and hear about me day. And his love (which both loves me as I am and encourages me to grow) is more unstoppable than a mass of people stampeding to get on a train. Thank you again and again for your prayers! God has been providing help to me over and over in very tangible ways, and it is so encouraging to hear stories of your prayers! So thank you :)

The Cheese Garlic Bread Principle

I’ve now been in South Asia for almost two weeks. Its been quite the adventure.  I struggle with how to describe how to sum up my experiences of the past two weeks in a simple blog post- there have been more tastes, sights, sounds, and feelings than I could ever do justice in such a short space. I think, though, that the most important impression to communicate is the fact that life here is pretty normal. I live in an apartment with air conditioning and a washing machine, a block away from a western-style shopping mall with a food court and a movie theater and a Starbucks, and a 20 minute drive away from a very nice Meijer-esque two-story grocery store where I could buy a new bike or Nutella. The second night I was here, I went with my coworkers to the nearby mall for dinner. We sat down at a little cafe where I ordered a Reuben sandwich. As we waited I laughed to myself— the cafe was playing Michael Jackson in the background. Not too different from any other big city.

But then I remembered that I got to the little MJ-playing cafe in a motor rickshaw (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, google it), wove in and out of foot, bicycle, rickshaw, taxi, and bus traffic with no regard to traffic lanes, paid the driver in rupees, and passed by hundreds of people on the streets and hundreds of stalls selling hundreds of different kinds of goods, everything from fresh vegetables to iPhone chargers. I saw beautiful clothing and beggars and heard street vendors calling and rickshaws honking their horns. In spite of all the similarities to a big city at home, there are incredible and obvious differences.

Existing in this paradox of sameness-and-differences can be complicated, to say the least. I remember experiencing an earthquake when  I was in Guatemala. It was the strangest sensation: I had taken for granted that the earth was solid beneath my feet, but then all of a sudden it rebelled; it decided to ignore the laws of physics that until then had been so reliable. Being in a new culture feels very much the same. It’s exhausting to be in a situation where absolutely every interaction is unpredictable. Simple things like walking down the street or making a purchase suddenly become a source of uncertainty. The process of sorting out this paradox brings us to what I call “the cheese garlic bread principle.”

I discovered this principle today as I was wandering around the downtown with two of my friends. One of my friends, a native to this country who has lived in the city for a long time, needed to run some errands. My other friend and I, both of us foreigners to this place, waited in a small bakery while the errands were being run. What started as a pleasant, restful afternoon eating desserts quickly devolved into a desperate search for somewhere, anywhere with a bathroom where my friend’s dessert could make a reappearance. Feeling a little like Mary and Joseph in the Nativity, we awkwardly crossed the busy street and knocked on door after door of food stalls and shops, frantically trying to communicate our needs. After a series of not-so-helpful interactions we found our proverbial “manger:" an Italian restaurant with a restroom available. After the tension eased, I began to write a text to my friend, the one running the errands, detailing our new location. I sent the text, feeling the stares from people on the street and thinking that although I was pretty sure we were safe, this probably wasn’t the part of town that would be your top choice of location for a pleasant Sunday stroll. I anticipated my friends response— I knew that she had told us to stay in the area near the bakery where this adventure started, and I was feeling a little far away. Would she come looking for us and be worried when we weren’t there? As these thoughts were mulling in the back of my mind, I felt my phone vibrate with her response to my anxious message: “Oh cool. They have really good cheese garlic bread.”

What a change in perspective! What I had perceived as a uncertain and incredibly uncomfortable expedition in the streets was for her the equivalent of driving to Panera for some fresh bagels and a smoothie. In all my anxiety from being in a new situation, I fail to grasp the fact that people work, love, play and have fun here. It’s a city and a country full of regular people living regular lives. What seems to me like a scene from an action-thriller movie is might actually be just cheese garlic bread. And that helps me make sense of the paradox. I still struggle, but I find myself seeing more and more "cheese garlic bread" in my new home every day— and as I become more comfortable, I am more free to truly experience the beauty that surrounds me.

IJM Orientation Week

At the airport: my last American burger for a while :)

What a week it’s been! I landed in DC on Sunday night, and from that point on it was a whirlwind of orientation and sightseeing and public transportation and adventures that can only be had in Washington, DC.

One of the very many reasons I like IJM is that there is a reason for everything. For example, it is a policy that everyone needs to wear business professional attire while at the office or at any IJM related meetings. Although this could seem slightly daunting at the beginning of a week during which much of the time will be spent listening to presentations, this policy is anything but stuffy. Rather, its an acknowledgement that, as Gary Haugen said, “credibility is the currency of the realm,” and the credibility of IJM is something that can be a matter of life to our clients. They want to take every effort to ensure that we serve our clients to the best of our ability, and if the best way to do that is to wear business suits every day of the week, so be it. The formality of dress by no means stops the jokes and laughter from echoing through the hallways.

Another reason I like IJM is because they set aside an entire week to welcome and instruct their interns. They took hours out of their schedule to talk about IJM’s origin and business model, their philosophy behind fundraising, information systems and technology, spiritual warfare, how to address culture shock and secondary trauma, traveling safety information, the child protection policy, and much more. Two hours were even dedicated to the topic of staff self-care, which was treated as a ethical requirement (you can’t serve clients as well if you’re burned out). Office staff even took time out of their evenings one day to have dinner with us and just hang out and talk to us. They adopted an attitude of service toward their interns, celebrating the fact that although we are going specifically to serve the offices, we will likely experience tremendous personal growth as well. This mindset toward interns seems incredibly rare.

One more reason I like IJM is because they depend on God to complete this work so much so that they actually structure it into the schedule for the day. Both in DC and in the field offices, the mornings begin with a half an hour of stillness. Everyone sits at their desk and doesn’t work, but rather reads the Bible or prays or reflects. When 9 am hits, the office comes alive and works hard until 11:30, when all staff gather together for a half an hour of specific prayer for the work that is being done both in DC and all over the world. This serves as a physical reminder that the work that IJM does is not accomplished by its staff or by its donors, but only by the grace of God. We pray for his blessing and his help (because it truly is his work, anyway), and then praise him when we hear of how he has provided. These spiritual disciplines of stillness and prayer in an office setting are incredibly refreshing and reassuring, especially considering the kind of work that IJM does: fighting everyday violence against the poor.

Although this week was incredibly busy, I still had plenty of time to traipse around DC and be all touristy! I was able to see the National Mall, scout out Teddy Roosevelt’s home, tour the Capitol building, watch the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery, and spend some time reading in the Library of Congress. One of the best parts of the week was meeting some really cool people and making new friends. The bummer is that since many of us are Field Office interns or fellows, at the end of the week we had to say goodbye and scatter to all different parts of the world. That didn’t stop us from staying up late the last night and going to see the Lincoln Memorial one last time!

As I write this post, I am 44 minutes away from landing in South Asia. My body thinks its 3 am, and the sky thinks its 2 in the afternoon, so I anticipate some fierce debate on that part in the near future, which (I hope) will probably result in my sleeping for a long time. I am so grateful to all of you for your prayers as I embark on this journey- they have been felt this week. God has continued to show his faithfulness in little ways (such as allowing me to stay in the same room my final night in DC- doesn't seem like a big deal, but it was wonderful!) and remind me that no matter where I go, even if it’s a 20 hour flight away from home, I’m still in his hands.

Golf

I'm leaving in 19 days! Things are starting to come together, and in spite of the all the busyness I've still had some time to spend playing with my family. Over the past couple weeks we've had the chance to go golfing. Having played soccer my whole life, my feet are actually much more coordinated than my hands when it comes to sports. This makes for some pretty entertaining results when trying to use a golf club. My sister and I have decided that if continue playing golf once a year, by the time we're 60 we should be able to make it through a round of golf without embarrassing ourselves.

Although I've definitely improved with some help from Coach Dad, its still pretty tricky to get used to the feeling of the club as an extension of my body. I'm much more comfortable when I don't have to worry about an extra four-foot-long appendage attached to my arm and can simply use my feet to get the ball where I want it to go. Its a lot easier to maintain control over the power and accuracy of the shot.

My mom and I were talking about raising support for my trip to South Asia when I realized that the way God works in our world is a lot more like golf than like soccer. He could just decide to come down from heaven and "kick the ball" by himself, like I prefer to do when I play sports. Honestly, sometimes it seems like if he did, his goals of justice and restoration would be accomplished a whole lot more quickly and accurately. But often, he doesn't. He chooses to use us as his tools- his golf clubs- to accomplish his work in the world. This is both an honor and a responsibility. God is allowing us to be a part of his plan- and that is truly humbling and so very very exciting! We get to help our father in the work of rescuing his children and bringing them back to relationship with him. We also need to make sure that we're obedient- without us, the work may not get done.

The other thing about golf clubs is that it has two different parts: the shaft and the head. The shaft never actually touches the ball, but without the shaft, the ball would never make it to the fairway, let alone the green. As you've been praying for me and supporting me, you're acting as an extension of the hand of God, as the shaft of his golf club. Without you, the work that God wants to do helping to rescue girls in South Asia and bring their perpetrators to justice would never be accomplished.

Thank you, thank you so incredibly much for allowing God to use you as his shaft. Together with his help, we'll get the ball on the green. Maybe we'll even shoot par for the course- that's more than I can say for my recent golfing adventures :)

Anticipation

48 Days. That's how long I have until I board a plane. That plane will take me to Washington, D.C. for one week, and then I'll get on another plane which will take me to my new home for almost a year. It's funny to imagine myself 5 or 6 months from now, when things that I have currently never experienced will by that time probably be normal, everyday occurrences. It's the unknown factor that makes something like this so intriguing and exciting.

It's also the unknown factor that makes something like this so scary. Until recently, when I've been thinking about going to South Asia, it seemed like something abstract and far in the future, not really applicable to my life. But now it's starting to sink in, and with the excitement comes fear. I'm afraid of the process of making new friends, I'm afraid of missing my family and friends at home, I'm afraid of discovering that I'm not capable of doing the tasks that need to be done, I'm afraid of feeling overwhelmed by so many new things.

I'm not afraid all the time. Mostly, I'm really excited! I get to spend a year working for an organization that is rescuing people in the name of Jesus. And also I get to do it in South Asia. When those moments of fear do come up, I need to remind myself what Jesus says about fear: don't. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," (Philippians 4:6-7).

And really, I have no reason to doubt. God has shown himself to be faithful over and over again throughout this process, in more ways that I have the time or patience to write about right now. He brought be to this position in the first place, and there's no way he'll abandon me now. So I just have to watch in anticipation for what he's going to do next. Easier said than done, but a worthy goal all the same!

It's also been encouraging to watch other people be excited about this opportunity as well! One of the many examples is my friends Rita, Jeanna, and Josie. Rita went to the same place I'll be going a few years ago, and brought back some of the traditional clothing for Jeanna and Josie. Jeanna and Josie decided that they wanted to give that clothing to me, so I can wear it while I'm in South Asia! I was so excited. Rita helped my cousin Amie and I dress up-- it's harder than it looks! There are so many beautiful colors in this culture-- that's one of the very many things that make me excited! Also on that list are chai and fresh mangoes :)

Some thoughts by Pope Francis

I ran in to these quotes by Pope Francis, and I thought they were worth sharing. Enjoy!
(Quotes found on www.slowchurch.com in a guest post by Timothy Colegrove)

“A Church which “goes forth” is a Church whose doors are open. Going out to others in order to reach the fringes of humanity does not mean rushing out aimlessly into the world. Often it is better simply to slow down, to put aside our eagerness in order to see and listen to others, to stop rushing from one thing to another and to remain with someone who has faltered along the way.”

“Instead of seeming to impose new obligations, they [Christians] should appear as people who wish to share their joy, who point to a horizon of beauty and who invite others to a delicious banquet. It is not by proselytizing that the Church grows, but “by attraction.”

“… the Gospel tells us constantly to run the risk of a face-to-face encounter with others, with their physical presence which challenges us, with their pain and their pleas, with their joy which infects us in our close and continuous interaction. True faith in the incarnate Son of God is inseparable from self-giving, from membership in the community, from service, from reconciliation with others.”

“An evangelizing community gets involved by word and deed in people’s daily lives; it bridges distances, it is willing to abase itself if necessary, and it embraces human life, touching the suffering flesh of Christ in others. Evangelizers thus take on the “smell of the sheep” and the sheep are willing to hear their voice. An evangelizing community is also supportive, standing by people at every step of the way, no matter how difficult or lengthy this may prove to be. It is familiar with patient expectation and apostolic endurance. Evangelization consists mostly of patience and disregard for constraints of time.”

Christians

"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." This quote, commonly (but not definitively) attributed to Mahatma Gandhi, often reflects my own sentiments. I am often confronted with words spoken and behaviors exhibited Christians that fly in the face of what I understand about the heart of Jesus Christ. My pain increases when I think about what all those who do not know Jesus might now think of him. Its a unique feeling of awkward discomfort-- I classify it as an "I-want-to-hide-under-a-rock-for-a-hundred-years-or-until-this-goes-away" emotion. The representation of un-Christlike Christians in the media is so pervasive that I hesitate to identify myself as a Christian; not as much that I don't want to identify with Christ as much as I don't want to be identified with people who would do or say such awful things.

I was reading a book this afternoon called "Good News About Injustice" by Gary Haugen, the founder of International Justice Mission. There's a a section that talks about the history of justice work in the United States, and how much of it was fueled by the evangelical church. It told the stories of Dr. Kate Bushnell, Reverend Edgar Gardner Murphy, and  Jessie Daniel Ames, three Christians who played a major role in abolishing forced prostitution, child labor, and mob lynching in the United States. It was their belief in Christ gave them the conviction and the determination to risk their own health to stand up against a system that attacked what they understood about the heart of Jesus.

These three are far from being the only Christians who have done this. There are hundreds of similar stories about Christians, Protestants and Catholics alike, who have chosen to live out the love of Christ for humanity at risk to their own lives. William Wilberforce, Mother Teresa, Donaldina Cameron, Martin Luther King, Jr., are just a couple more prominent names. Then there's the untold scores of men and women who have lived out their lives demonstrating the love of Jesus for their families, friends, strangers, and communities yet whose service has never been recognized by the Church at large. 

As I read this chapter, I realized that as many incredibly silly people who call themselves Christians as there are (and to be honest, I'm probably one of them more often than I care to admit), there are so many more that use their lives to paint beautiful pictures of what it means to embody the Jesus's love for a hurting world. This thought greatly reduces my level of cynicism. Gary Haugen writes that "... the biblical mandate to seek justice and rescue the oppressed is an integral and magnificent theme of the Christian heritage." Far from being averse to the label "Christian," I should be excited about the history from which I come and eager to join the millions of others who share a belief in a God who cares enough and is powerful enough to do something about injustice in this world. I hope to live my life in a way that blatantly demonstrates the love of Christ for all people.

Graduation

Well, I've graduated from college. It hit me as I was driving away that I'd never be coming back, and that felt strange. When you live somewhere, that place becomes your frame of reference, your mode of understanding life, your world. And just like that, that world is gone. How can something that for four years was the pattern for your thoughts and the borders of your existence suddenly vanish? But it has. And that's ok.

My mom shared with me once that when I graduated from high school, she worried that I wouldn't experience the same caliber of amazing friendships that I had in high school. But God was faithful, and I found a group of people in college who became my spiritual and emotional family, with relationships every bit as vibrant as those of high school.

As I move on  to the next phase of life, its tempting to despair that I will be left lonely and unfulfilled. I'm leaving the place where I cried and laughed and thought and loved. And although I will keep my high school and college friends who have filled my life with color and adventure, we may not always be geographically near each other. I know it will be a struggle to form a new home in Asia, Law School, and beyond. I can easily become afraid that I may end up feeling lost and homesick. When I start to think these thoughts, I am chided by Truth, who gently reminds me that I did basically nothing to form my friendships or my home in the first place. But really. I kind of awkwardly followed people around and then somehow we became friends. The people I would have chosen to be my friends never became so, but the friendships I did form were so much more worthwhile than the ones I originally desired. I didn't know when I chose to attend Spring Arbor how it would grow me in ways I could never imagine, but somehow I chose it anyway. I can only conclude that God steered my friendships and my life toward what he knew I would need, and I have no reason to believe that he'll abandon me to my own devices next time around.

I'm leaving college, but God has promised me hope, a future, and eternal pleasures in his presence. My friends and family will not always be near, but God was faithful in providing them to me in the first place, and he will provide again. I'm leaving college, my world for the last four years, and its strange, but its ok.

My Brother and my Enemy

The more I read words written by johns (customers of prostitutes and trafficked people), the more I am dissuaded from my initial irate anger toward them. These are not evil men; these are men caught in a trap. They have been caught in a variety of different traps, some of shattered self-esteem, some of betrayal, some of broken homes and emotions, some of unfulfillment. And by their actions they are creating traps for these young women, by creating a market for their owners to sell them repeatedly. Even the owners and pimps can be caught in their own kind of trap. I am becoming ever more convinced that not a single one of these human beings are evil. They are each imago dei, no different than I, that have fallen into traps of lonliness and desperation, and the evil one is using them to his own advantage, to further his personal cause of death and despair. I see him, jumping and dancing and clapping his hands in glee at all the destruction he has caused and that continues to perpetuate itself. He laughs at those who continue to make decisions that serve his purpose. He is the ultimate trafficker, forcing, frauding, and coercing us away from our true home with our Father with false promises of a better life. I am reminded of the verse in Ephesians 6: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” The truth of this verse makes itself more apparent with every day. As I continue my journey in this fight against human trafficking, may I never forget that those whom I fight are not my enemies, but my brothers.